Let’s face it – most of us have been hurt in some form or fashion by someone we really cared about.

That’s life – it happens to the best of us. But occasionally, we are unfortunate enough to care about a drama queen (or king). I’m not talking typical drama either – I mean the kind that will rip your heart out because you wound up caring for them and they finally tired of playing with you and tossed you aside like a worn out teddy bear. The kind of person that dawns a perfect window dressing to hide the counterfeit that they really are.

Oh, these pretentious, two-faced bastards will act soft and innocent around you – but get them in a crowd where they are the center of attention – and honey, you would swear they could win an Oscar for their performance.

Yeah you right, Chere – you got somebody in mind, don’t ya?

So what do you do when they really need a taste of their own medicine? When you want, no need, to show their little horde of unsuspecting minions who they really are?

I can tell you what a Swamp Witch does – she turns ’em into Roadkill!

Yes, darlin’ – Roadkill! That stinking, rotting mess that we see on the side of the road!

This Swamp Witch don’t mess around! I will use what the swamp and the bayou provide to get the job done! Any roadkill will do. It’s nasty work – but the benefits you reap afterward are more than worth it!

I will baptize the roadkill as your specified target – and then wrap it in brightly colored yarns and ribbons and pretty things! You know… to make the target feel like we are buying into their sham.

Some energy work, a little altar and candle magick are done, as well as a few other things to complete the process.

Petitions are written to the spirits, offerings are made.

The bright colored bundle is placed on a silver platter and paraded around – treated like the royalty they THINK they are.

It’s a party, boys and girls!

But guess what?

That beautiful bright colored bundle of stink is about to get what it has coming to them –

I set that baby on fire! Oh yeah – we talkin’ bonfire!

As it is consumed by flames – all those brightly colored fragile ribbons and yarns begin to melt away – the pseudo identity falling to the wayside leaving behind their true ‘colors’.

Just wait… the best is yet to come.

If you are patient, and observant, you will get to see their entourage of minions leave them… very reminiscent of rats abandoning a sinking ship!

Why would they want to hang around a big piece of rotting, festering chaos? They usually don’t want to have much to do with the target after something like this. It creates havoc and chaos in the target’s life. Everything they touch stinks to high heaven! By the time the conjure wears off – they are usually left all alone. With little to no successes, no friends, a shell of their former know-it-all Queen (or King) Bee selves.

This is actually a very effective, and generally pretty long-lasting bayou conjure that I am becoming known for! So, reach out to me if you are still thinking of that person you were earlier. Yeah, Chere, I could see those wheels a-turnin’!

Makin’ the Roadkill purdy!

As I’ve said before – I don’t mess around!

I don’t do nice! And I don’t do passive aggressive!

You come to me with your problem and I’ll fix you right up.

At the very least – I will make you feel better and put a satisfied smile on your face!

Set that baby on fire!!

I have a lot of experience working swamp conjures. I have seen the results with my own eyes. I use a great deal of energy for my workings and tricks – but I always give proper abundance of thanks to the Bayou and the spirits!

I offer this service on my website, http://www.inexplicablethings.com.

Please feel free to contact me

• Message me here
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Please contact me with any questions, concerns, comments, bitches, complaints!

My front stoop is always open, and the sweet tea never runs out. Ca c’est bon!